Dear YouthLine,
How do I get over my ex boyfriend when I go to a really small school with about 20 of us in our grade and I see him face to face every other day? When I fist started going to this school I didn’t know anyone. The first people I started talking to were my ex boyfriend and his friends. It is a specialized trade school and I’m the only female. All the guys stick together and I was always out by myself being all girly. I have spent the past 7 months with my ex and his friends. So I don’t know anyone else at this school. I don’t know how I’m going to handle the next couple of months untill summer. But luckily I go to another school too. So I ONLY have to see him everyother day and next year I won’t be going to this school. But I still just don’t know how to get over him if I have to be in such a close area with him and I feel like I miss him but I know I wasn’t happy being with him. I think I only feel like I miss him because I’m alone at this school now..
-Emily
Dear Emily,
I am glad that you reached out to the YouthLine! It sounds like you are going through a really tough time right now and on top of that are feeling pretty isolated at school. Breaking ties with someone is hard enough as it is, but I imagine it is even more difficult when you are forced to see that person on a regular basis. Unfortunately, there is no clear cut answer on what you should do in order to make this situation easier. Is remaining friends with your ex-boyfriend 1) possible at this point in time and 2) something you are interested in? If so, I would suggest having an honest and open conversation with your ex so that you both can discuss your feelings and establish where you stand, whether a friendship is something you are both interested in, and if so, what that friendship would look like. If remaining friends is possible, it could potentially help the awkwardness of the situation, but that would probably not be the case unless you are both completely over one another and are content with being friends. I am going to assume from your e-mail that since you and your boyfriend broke up, you are no longer hanging out with his group of friends? If remaining friends with your ex and his friends is not an option that you are comfortable with, I would encourage you to consider getting to know some of the other students from the school and trying to make some new friends, especially since you will be there for another few months. In time, this should bring some clarity to whether you truly do miss your ex or if you only feel like you miss him because you are alone at the school with no friends to talk to and spend time with.
In the meantime, remember that your health and well-being are most important and should be a number 1 priority. Going through a break up can be draining and is emotionally very difficult. It can be tough balancing relationships, family and school and somehow managing to stay sane! Be sure to eat regularly, get some form of regular physical activity, and get plenty of sleep.
If you would like to talk on the phone with another teen who can relate and understand the struggles you are going through, please give the YouthLine a call at 1-877-968-8491. The line is open 24/7, but teens are available to answer calls Monday-Friday from 4-9pm. We also have a brand new texting service. If you want to text with a teen, text the words teen2teen to 66746. Best of luck with your situation and in finishing school these next couple months!
Hope to hear from you soon,
-YouthLine