Relationships

I have the right:

1. To always be treated with respect.

2. To be in a healthy relationship.

3. To not be hurt physically or emotionally.

4. To refuse sex or affection at anytime.

5. To have friends and activities apart from my partner.

6. To end a relationship.

Have my limits and values respected
be heard
Have my own feelings and be able to express them
To feel comfortable being myself

I have the responsibility to:

Always treat my partner with respect
never hurt my partner physically, verbally, or emotionally
communicate clearly and honestly
ask for help when I need it
respect my partner’s decisions concerning sex in our relationship

Respect is…Respect is…listening with out interrupting

Respect is…taking your partner’s feelings into consideration

Respect is…keeping an open mind

Respect is…agreeing to disagree

Respect is…trying to understand your partner’s viewpoint

Respect is…loving yourself

Respect is…trust and honesty

Respect is…giving each other space

Respect is…nonviolence

Respect is…direct communication

Respect is…building a person up instead of tearing them down

Respect is…friendship

Respect is…not pressuring the other person

Dating rights:

I have the right:

To be treated with respect always
To be in a healthy relationship
To not be abused-physically, sexually, or emotionally
To keep my body, feelings, beliefs, and property to myself
To have friends and activities apart from my boyfriend or girlfriend
To set limits and values
To say no
To feel safe in the relationship
To be treated as an equal
To feel comfortable being myself
To leave a relationship

Dating responsibilities

I have the responsibility:

To determine my limits and values
To respect my boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s limits, values, feelings, and beliefs
To refuse to abuse-physically, sexually, or emotionally
To be considerate
To communicate clearly and honestly
To give my boyfriend or girlfriend space to be his or her own person
To not exert power or control in the relationship
To compromise when needed
To admit to being wrong when appropriate
To ask for help from friends, family, and trusted adults

What love is:

§ Supportive – does your boyfriend or girlfriend encourage you? Attend your baseball game, even though they couldn’t be less interested in sports? Do they show up for the play you have a part in even though you’re on stage for less than a minute (and you’re dressed as a horse)? A love relationship means supporting your partner’s interests – even when they don’t coincide with your own.

§ Unconditional – nobody likes being criticized. But when it’s your significant other doing the smack-talking it’s much more hurtful…a boyfriend or girlfriend who spends more time belittling you than sweet-talking you is not worth your love.

§ Generous – when you’re coupled up, suddenly the emphasis is more on the us than on the me. That’s not to say that suddenly your feelings go out the window…instead, part of being in a healthy relationship is balancing what you need with what someone else needs. Sometimes it’s tough to do, but real love involves generosity of your time.

What love isn’t:

§ Controlling – this kind of love doesn’t let you be you. Instead, your partner calls the shots and tells you what to do, when, and for how long. Instead of an equal footing, your partner dominates the relationship and always decides what is “best for us”.

§ Conditional – love that is based on meeting a standard of performance; you have to do something or be something in order to earn the love. So don’t dare gain a few pounds, make friends with the wrong crowd, or suddenly stop doing well in your sport.

§ Based on lust – this is love based on excitement. Instead of understanding your partner from the inside out – falling for them based on who they are, this kind of love only sees the physical aspects of a relationship.

http://www.stayteen.org/whats-your-relationship-reality/falling-in-love/default.aspx

http://www.athinline.org/ good for info on unhealthy relationships

Want to hear more from other youth who know what you’re going through? Check out our blog posts on Relationships.